Divorce is a challenging and emotionally charged process, which makes maintaining clear communication during this process particularly complex. However, keeping lines of communication open is important for making the proceedings smoother and less stressful for all involved. Family lawyers can help parties involved in a family law dispute maintain effective and civil communication during this period, however, there are other ways to keep communication open. Here are seven practical tips to keep communication lines open during divorce proceedings.

Set Clear Boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial at any interval of a relationship, but particularly during a divorce. It’s important to discuss what is off-limits to ensure that conversations remain respectful and productive. This could include topics that evoke strong emotions, like new relationships or past grievances. Having clear parameters helps to avoid unnecessary conflicts and keep discussions focused on practical matters.

Choose the Right Medium

Selecting the appropriate communication medium is essential. Some topics are better addressed in person, while others might be more suitable for email or text messages. Emails can provide a written record, which can be valuable for legal purposes, while face-to-face meetings might be better for resolving complex issues. Family lawyers often advise erring on the side of formality when the subject matter is sensitive.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening can significantly enhance communication effectiveness. This involves fully concentrating on the speaker, understanding their message, responding thoughtfully and remembering what was said. It’s not just about hearing words, but understanding the emotions behind them. By practicing active listening, you can better understand the concerns and needs of your soon-to-be ex-spouse, facilitating more constructive dialogue.

Stay Neutral & Calm

Divorce can naturally stir up strong emotions, but it’s important to stay neutral and calm during conversations. Reacting emotionally can escalate tensions and disrupt the flow of communication. Take deep breaths, keep your voice level and remain composed, even when discussing contentious issues.

Use “I” Statements

Using “I” statements rather than “you” statements can make a significant difference in how your message is received. Instead of saying, “You always ignore my opinions,” try saying, “I feel unheard when my opinions are not considered.” This method focuses on expressing your feelings rather than blaming the other person, which can reduce defensiveness and promote more open dialogue.

Schedule Regular Check-Ins

Even during a divorce, it’s essential to have structured communication. Family lawyers commonly recommend scheduling regular check-ins to discuss ongoing matters such as financial obligations, child custody and property division. These sessions provide an opportunity to address issues in a timely manner, preventing misunderstandings from escalating into major disputes.

Seek Professional Help

If communication remains problematic, consider seeking the assistance of a professional mediator or counsellor. Family lawyers often work alongside mediators who can help couples communicate more effectively. These professionals can provide a neutral ground where both parties feel safe to express their thoughts and feelings.


Maintaining open lines of communication during divorce proceedings is vital for a smoother transition and a less stressful experience. By setting clear boundaries, choosing the right communication medium, practicing active listening and seeking professional help when necessary, you can significantly improve your interactions during divorce proceedings.